running monster versus mountain lions, an adventure

I have planned to run out here at Mission Trails all day, been excited about it! After many delays its gotten late,  but I am still hellbent on busting out this run, after all I am Normita the running monster, RAWR. As I begin my run, music playing, GPS tracking on, I am quickly in the zone. Lots of people walking, biking and running through is a good sign. After all, I don't want to be left alone, thats when mountain lions come out. Dusk is beautiful, gray clouds and the fading colors of the sunlight along with a fresh breeze give me a rush and make me feel lucky for the millionth time to be living in San Diego. What starts off as a pleasant beautiful run, quickly changes its tune.

As I run out to mile three I realize its going to be dark. Its going to be dark ALL the way back. I turn around to do the  last three miles. At mile four, it has gotten completely dark AND all of my previous companions on the trail have disappeared. What happened to all the runners, walkers and bikers? They got off the trail and drove off in their cars, after all it IS dark. As I continue running into the darkness,I begin to get the slightest bit panicky. As I run,  I begin to hear little forest creatures squeak, croak, moving through the bushes, plants, and trees. Not even the rocking music of  Enanitos verdes playing in my ear is enough to soothe my fears.and I turn ithem up just a little bit more and as I do so, I think but what when the mountain lions come out, I won't be able to hear them! I turn the music down again.

A snap of a branch finally does it, I freak out a little more and start running, and I mean REALLY running.

With my pace picked up considerably, I  realize that I am just going to run as fast as my long legs can carry me for the next two miles. Breathing picks up, arms are pumping faster, I'm flying up the hills, zooming on the downhills, must get back to car-- GASP!....

and then they come out, three of them. I am done for I think, as I see them come up. There they are, wearing...neon colored jumpsuits? Wait a minute... As soon as I saw them in their gear, I understand that there will be a face off. Running monster versus sparkling mountain lions. Right here, right now.

I have heard of these encounters before but always they have been between people and mountain lions. The humans usually lose. I have never heard of what happens during faceoffs between running monster and mountain lions. I stop dead in my running shoes. They stop dead in their jumpsuits. I slowly reach over to turn my music down. I stare at their green eyes, they stare at me and my purple monster outfit. Seconds pass... my breathing is returning to normal, sweat is running down my arms, down my legs. They stand, hands on neon clad hips. No one makes a move, the seconds drag on...

One of them suddenly turns to the moon and starts growling. They look at each other and slowly begin to move to my left and right.

Right now is my only chance, I think as I dash through the middle of them with a loud RAWR!!!!! Not expecting me to rush them, they move to the side dumbfounded.

Growl they yell, RAWR I roar! I jump on the railings and continue rawring and flailing my arms like a  crazed running monster. Then they begin to... DANCE... a dance off it is I think, as I break out into 70's dancing moves. If only I had brought MY jumpsuit, these cats would have nothing on me! They somersault over me and I turn to face them, a back flip and spin kick dancing move throws them off for a a millisecond and they return the volley in the form of a free style boxing-like dance move involving pumping arms and frolicking. I quickly cartwheel around them, free style some karate-like dance move and through them off just long enough to get a gain. My spectacular moves end with a perfect landing onto the railing marking the trail.

They freeze, look at me and realize that they have bit off more than they can chew with this running monster.

With a dash and a swish of a tail, their neon colored bodies return to the sides of the trail.

I continue snarling for a good 30 seconds and then RUN. Run like I haven't run in a long time. I am free, I feel like Hermes winged feet are my own. My pace is under 9 minutes, now its under 8 and the gate is inviting me in the distance. A gleam and a sparkle and I see black beauty, my car about a quarter mile away.

My lungs are pleading with me to slow down, my pumping arms also beg for a break, but now now!!!!!

With a last heave, I launch myself on the other side of the gate, sprint to my car and stop.

I turn the music off, consequently "Eye of the tiger" pushed me for the last quarter mile. I walk.

Gathering my wits (which fell all over the road the last few yards) I grab my water and stretch.

note to self:

1) running alone in the dark on trails, not a good idea.

2) dance offs with mountain lions- dangerous and just the slightest bit fun.

3) when faced with the potential pursuit of crazed jumpsuit clad mountain lions, my running time improves CONSIDERABLY